“Suburban Home Warrior…Part 1”

Submitted by “June C.”

For those who also have a husband who is a Suburban Home Warrior, I think you can appreciate and relate to the following story…

One Saturday morning my husband decided to get up early and rid our driveway, walkway and front sidewalks and flower beds of all those unsightly weeds.  Wanting to not make a day of it, he opted for the dreaded Round-Up, guaranteed to destroy the life out of even the slightest hint of organic material.  Being in the Northwest, I know that many see Round-Up as a four-letter-word, but just go with it for now.

Anyway, that stuff is so toxic that my husband put on his tacky, worn, and frayed tennis shoes so as not to ruin his regular outdoor shoes.  So, he donned his frayed tennis shoes, grabbed the Round-Up, sprayed the weeds in record time, and walked through the front yard and around to the back yard storage area to keep the toxins safely away from the house.  Well….

You can imagine my surprise the next morning when I looked out the front window and saw some ‘beautiful yard art’ in our front yard.  

Apparently my husband forgot to hose off his shoes after his de-weeding adventure and the residue of the RoundUp on the bottoms of his boots made a trail of perfectly formed footprints  – of BURNT, DEAD, GRASS – right through our front yard!   





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